1. If he even owns a sex toy. There’s a double standard in place here. Guys might less comfortable owning or talking about sex toys, but vibrators and dildos don’t have that same stigma for women. And it’s kinda shitty for men in the long run, because there’s a ton of stuff out there that can make sex a lot more fun for guys, too. So don’t be surprised if this isn’t something that comes up on the first date, or even the 100th date. It doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not into it.
2. He might be a little skeptical about bringing them into the bedroom. Since guys generally have less experience with adult toys, it’s possible he could be hesitant to start throwing anal beads and cock rings around your bed. Brace yourself for him feeling self-conscious, and remember that it might be best to reel him in slowly with some small stuff before breaking out the big guns.
3. He might be jealous of your vibrator. He knows how dumb this sounds, but sometime you can’t rationalize a feeling. Plenty of guys don’t care how you get off when they’re not around, but when they come face-to-face with plastic that can do what they do and recharges, it’s easy to feel a little threatened. It’s especially true if he has a hard time getting you off in the first place. It’s not like you’ll wake up in the middle of the night to the sight of him smashing it with a hammer. But it’s more like how sometimes you suspect he’s jealous of the affection you give your cat. Also, there’s a lot of overlap between “men who are threatened by vibrators” and “men who are threatened by your cat.” Deep down he knows nothing can replace a thoughtful, giving partner, but it’s helpful to remind of him.
4. He might also see it as a way to “cheat” at sex. On the opposite end of the spectrum, he might love incorporating your vibrator if he’s feeling lazy. This is the first step on the path to truly embracing your vibrator.
5. He’s curious how you clean all this stuff. Is it dishwasher safe? Do you give it a good soak? Do you… just not clean it? Are there special wipes involved? And what about upkeep? What goes into that?
6. And the ceremony behind it. Guys typically start masturbating when they’re hanging around and realize their hand is already down their pants. It’s very spontaneous, generally. But it seems like there’s a very deliberate action in getting out your vibrator. Do you go right into that? Do you warm yourself up and then decide it’s time? He has a lot of questions.
7. He probably doesn’t want to be “surprised” mid-coitus. It’s not the best idea to surprise your partner with a sex toy, especially if you plan on using it on him. Talk it out first to make sure he’s into it.
8. He thinks you masturbating is hot. You may not have thought much about how he self-pleasures (or maybe you love the idea, too), but you’d be surprised at how much he’d be into just watching you. Seeing how turned on a sex toy makes you should be all the motivation he needs to get on board, fast.
9. He’s curious how deep this rabbit hole goes. So you’ve got a vibrator? No big deal, that’s pretty common. But wait, are those nipple clamps? Is that a gag? Do I have the stamina for this?!
10. People’s attitudes towards sex toys are all over the map. It’s tough to find a straight dude that doesn’t love boobs. There are certain things that apply to that demographic in virtual totality. But with sex toys, some guys love them, some hate them, and some find them totally ambivalent. There is no easy way to know what your guy is into unless you broach the subject