1. How sweaty do they get? Guys can sympathize: Balls can get incredibly, disgustingly sweaty. Boobs seem to do the same thing. It seems like there should be a market for boob and ball- designed antiperspirants. Also, it seems as if orb-shaped body parts sweat more. I’m no scientist, but someone should look into that correlation.
2. Do you ever find things in there later? It’s probably easy to forget you’ve stuffed things in there like receipts, your phone, and your last will and testament. Maybe even loose change and the like can sneak its way in there. When you take your bra off at night, do things just come tumbling out, like some kind of weird piñata that’s full of reminders of what happened that day? Or do things ever just fall out at terribly embarrassing moments?
3. What makes for a good bra? Certainly, guys have some idea that it involves a combination of support, material, and aesthetic, but — and this is likely different for every woman — what’s most important? Are some materials more comfortable but less able to give you support? Do they get insanely expensive? Do they require more underwire? What is underwire? What is a bra?
4. Does going braless make you feel like a rebel? Going commando feels drastically different, like you’re somehow breaking the law but no one knows. Is going braless effectively the same?
5. Do you like one more than the other? Your breasts are pretty much front and center. You see them every time you look down or gaze into a mirror. Guys don’t get that kind of quality time with their more intimate parts. So that said, is one somehow better than the other? Maybe because it’s bigger or smaller or more photogenic?
6. Do you have a series of bras for every possible occasion or article of clothing? It seems as if you’d need to have some kind of secret agent-esque stash of bras so that no matter what you have to wear, you’re set.
7. Is having such sensitive nipples a blessing and a curse? It has to be, right? Like on the one hand, there’s the potential for stimulation and even orgasms through that. But on the other, are your nipples always like, “Hey, check out what’s going on with me right now!” whenever you do anything?
8. How often do you notice guys staring at them? Most guys probably think they’re being coy … but are they really?
9. Do you think there’s such a thing as an ideal-size breast? Women tend to complain that theirs are too big or too small (and most guys certainly have a preference), but coming from those who actually have them, what’s the best size? Is there even a best size?!
10. How, I repeat, how do you manage to get a bra on and off every day? The Fort Knox-level security you’ve got going on in those is enough to deter men from even trying from middle school well into adulthood.